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Why Your Baby Hates Swimming Lessons (And How to Fix It!)
Why Your Baby Hates Swimming Lessons (And How to Fix It!)
As a professional swim coach, I have worked with infants, toddlers, and older kids for years. I know it can be very distressing to see your baby cry during a lesson and add a lot of stress to parents.
You may even wonder if swim lessons are the right choice for your child, who hates the entire experience.
But here's the thing: in most cases, crying is completely normal.
To babies and toddlers, the world is a new and, at times, overwhelming place. New faces, new environments, and new experiences often make young children nervous or uncomfortable; the swimming pool is no exception. The whole sensation of the water on the skin can be as unfamiliar as it is intimidating.
The good news is that there are ways to help a child overcome those initial fears; with the right strategies and a little patience, they can learn to love the water.
In this post, I will explain why babies cry during swimming lessons and give practical tips and steps to ensure you turn those tears into smiles.
You may even wonder if swim lessons are the right choice for your child, who hates the entire experience.
But here's the thing: in most cases, crying is completely normal.
To babies and toddlers, the world is a new and, at times, overwhelming place. New faces, new environments, and new experiences often make young children nervous or uncomfortable; the swimming pool is no exception. The whole sensation of the water on the skin can be as unfamiliar as it is intimidating.
The good news is that there are ways to help a child overcome those initial fears; with the right strategies and a little patience, they can learn to love the water.
In this post, I will explain why babies cry during swimming lessons and give practical tips and steps to ensure you turn those tears into smiles.
Why Babies Cry During Swim Lessons: What Are the Causes?
Before discussing the solutions, we need to understand why your baby or toddler is crying in the first place. Once we know what triggered the reaction, we can effectively eliminate the cause.
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Stranger Anxiety
Anxiety towards strangers is one of the most prevalent causes of babies crying during swimming classes.
When babies are around 6 to 12 months old and become familiar with specific faces, they might become cautious or even scared of new people.
In swimming lessons, your child is usually put into the water with an instructor they have never seen, and his brain perceives this new person as a potential threat.
Even swim instructors who come across you as warm, kind, and very experienced might be less than trustworthy to an infant.
Imagine meeting a new person and instantly needing to follow their directions while you're in an unfamiliar place- that's a big concept for a little person! -
Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety generally peaks between 9 and 18 months, and, for some kids, it can be severe. Babies are attached to their parents, and being even a few feet away from them can be stressful.
Seeing you step back during the lesson may make them feel abandoned or insecure. They may cry because they need the comfort of knowing you are there. -
New Settings
The pools are so much fun to us, but to the baby, they're overstimulating. The sounds of splashing, constantly moving water, and the feeling of submerging are new and potentially overwhelming experiences.
Babies are sensitive to changes in their environment, and a pool setting might be so new it triggers fear or confusion. -
Temperament
Every baby is different; some are more sensitive or cautious than others. If your child is shy or sensitive to changes in their environment, they may take longer to get used to the swim lessons.
Their personality will affect how fast they become comfortable in the water with the instructor. -
Development of Independence
Babies and toddlers are in the early stages of gaining independence, and with that comes uncertainty. They may want to 'do it themselves,' yet feel scared when they can't control an environment like water.
Thus, in some cases, the process of becoming comfortable in the water is typically much more gradual. During this learning process, you may see your children expressing discomfort through tears.
What to Do When Your Baby Cries During Swim Lessons
Now that we have figured out why your baby cries during swimming lessons, let's move on to solutions. Here is a detailed guide for parents on turning the tears into excitement and joy.
1
Be Сalm and Patient
This will be the most important thing you can do as a parent. Babies pick up the cues from their parent's emotions, so if you are anxious or frustrated, your child will likely pick that up, too, and become even more distressed.
Staying calm shows that there is nothing to be concerned about. Smile and talk with them with a soft, smooth voice, and remain patient.
Remember, this might be a process; it may take time for your child to feel entirely comfortable in the water.
Staying calm shows that there is nothing to be concerned about. Smile and talk with them with a soft, smooth voice, and remain patient.
Remember, this might be a process; it may take time for your child to feel entirely comfortable in the water.
2
Start With Gradual Transitions
I suggest transitioning to shorter sessions for children who have difficulty completing the entire swim lesson. Pre-lesson preparation can simply involve spending time together in the water before starting formal lessons.
Have fun during bath time or go to the pool outside of the lesson hours with your child to have fun times together. Ease into longer swim lessons, allowing your child to get used to the aquatic environment.
For example, start with a ten-minute puddle-around play session with them at the shallow end of the pool and gradually extend their time in the water. Then, introduce new skills to them with an instructor in a very relaxed and low-pressure setting.
Have fun during bath time or go to the pool outside of the lesson hours with your child to have fun times together. Ease into longer swim lessons, allowing your child to get used to the aquatic environment.
For example, start with a ten-minute puddle-around play session with them at the shallow end of the pool and gradually extend their time in the water. Then, introduce new skills to them with an instructor in a very relaxed and low-pressure setting.
3
Develop a Comforting and Familiar Routine
Predictability is essential for young children, and a pre-swim lesson routine can significantly decrease anxiety surrounding the pool.
Perhaps your child can bring the same toy to each lesson, wear the same bathing suit, or always eat a snack at the same time before lessons. Rituals give children a sense of security since they can predict what will occur next.
You can also talk your child through the routine: "First, we put on our swimsuits, then we meet your teacher, and then we have fun in the pool together."
The narration helps them anticipate the next steps more, reducing the fear of the unknown
Perhaps your child can bring the same toy to each lesson, wear the same bathing suit, or always eat a snack at the same time before lessons. Rituals give children a sense of security since they can predict what will occur next.
You can also talk your child through the routine: "First, we put on our swimsuits, then we meet your teacher, and then we have fun in the pool together."
The narration helps them anticipate the next steps more, reducing the fear of the unknown
4
Implement Positive Reinforcement and Encouragement
Positive reinforcement is an excellent tool for building confidence in a young swimmer. Celebrate the little steps of progress.
Did they put their feet in the water? Give them a high-five. Did they manage to let the instructor hold them for a few seconds? Praise, lots of praise.
It would be best if you didn't focus on the effort but paid attention to the outcome. You encourage them to continue trying by providing a reward for progress, even if it's a little one.
You can set up a reward system where, after every swimming lesson, they get to choose something fun to do or have a favorite snack. That would make the swimming lessons one positive experience they could expect and look forward to.
Did they put their feet in the water? Give them a high-five. Did they manage to let the instructor hold them for a few seconds? Praise, lots of praise.
It would be best if you didn't focus on the effort but paid attention to the outcome. You encourage them to continue trying by providing a reward for progress, even if it's a little one.
You can set up a reward system where, after every swimming lesson, they get to choose something fun to do or have a favorite snack. That would make the swimming lessons one positive experience they could expect and look forward to.
5
Prepare Your Child for a Swim Class
It doesn't necessarily need to be in the pool; preparations can start well before signing up for swim lessons.
Give your child an idea about swimming through books, songs, or cartoons talking about water. Seeing other children having fun in the pool will likely make swimming exciting and rewarding rather than daunting.
Explain to the child in simple terms: "You are gonna wear a fun swimsuit, meet your teacher, and then we will all play in the water!" A general understanding of what's expected to occur decreases anxiety in children.
Give your child an idea about swimming through books, songs, or cartoons talking about water. Seeing other children having fun in the pool will likely make swimming exciting and rewarding rather than daunting.
Explain to the child in simple terms: "You are gonna wear a fun swimsuit, meet your teacher, and then we will all play in the water!" A general understanding of what's expected to occur decreases anxiety in children.
6
Gradually Build Independence
Certainly, don't just throw your kids in the pool. It takes some time to build independence in the water, and if it takes your baby a bit longer, then so be it. Allow them to sit on the edge of the pool with their feet in the water, then progress to a shallow step where they can sit. With your careful assistance, you can begin exploring around the pool.
The idea is to give them time, allowing them to 'jump into' the water in a way comfortable for their feelings. Pushing them too quickly may result in more fear and resistance; thus, let them go at their own pace.
The idea is to give them time, allowing them to 'jump into' the water in a way comfortable for their feelings. Pushing them too quickly may result in more fear and resistance; thus, let them go at their own pace.
7
Make a Positive, Powerful Association
Building a positive association with swim lessons is a great idea. Play a fun game together before or after the class, have a "swimming song" you always sing together on your way there or plan a family activity like getting ice cream afterward. The goal here is to connect the idea of swim lessons and fun in their brain so that when the time comes, they love every minute.
8
Slowly Introduce Your Baby to the Teacher and Classmates
If your baby or toddler is a little more cautious around new people, it's best to meet the instructor together before the class. This might simply be playing near the pool or chatting with the instructor while you hold your baby. The goal is to let them get comfortable with the instructor before diving into the lesson.
You can also arrange for them to meet other kids from the swim school. Familiar faces make your child feel like they are among friends, making the swim school environment less intimidating.
You can also arrange for them to meet other kids from the swim school. Familiar faces make your child feel like they are among friends, making the swim school environment less intimidating.
9
Consistency is Key
I said it earlier, but kids thrive in routine. For best results, I recommend adding swimming lessons to your child's weekly routine, even if your child resists it. Skipping classes will only delay the adjustment period, but if you keep up a regular schedule, your child will soon become comfortable with the routine.
When Adjustments Are Needed: Recognizing Other Factors
Sometimes, no matter what the instructor or parents try, the tears don't stop. And it's perfectly fine because every child learns and adjusts to new life experiences at their own pace. Your little one is not ready for that activity yet — and that's okay.
Let's discuss other factors and some ideas on how you, as a parent, could best support your children and foster their love of swimming.
Let's discuss other factors and some ideas on how you, as a parent, could best support your children and foster their love of swimming.
Is Your Child Ready?
Understanding Developmental Readiness
Not every child is developmentally ready to dive into formal swim lessons, regardless of the number of classes they might have already taken.
Swimming requires many physical abilities, coordination, and emotional maturity, qualities every kid learns at their own pace.
In other words, some kids develop faster than others, which doesn't mean anything is wrong with your child. It means that they need a little bit more time.
If your child is not having a great time and nothing seems to help, hit the pause button. It's okay to take a break and return to swimming lessons when your child gets older or gains more confidence.
Sometimes, just a few months of growth can make all the difference. Give them that time to develop, and next summer, you'll most likely find your kids approaching swimming with a different attitude.
Swimming requires many physical abilities, coordination, and emotional maturity, qualities every kid learns at their own pace.
In other words, some kids develop faster than others, which doesn't mean anything is wrong with your child. It means that they need a little bit more time.
If your child is not having a great time and nothing seems to help, hit the pause button. It's okay to take a break and return to swimming lessons when your child gets older or gains more confidence.
Sometimes, just a few months of growth can make all the difference. Give them that time to develop, and next summer, you'll most likely find your kids approaching swimming with a different attitude.
What Else Could Be Going On?
Difficulties in Emotional or Sensory Processing
If it's not developmental readiness, then there may be something emotional and/or sensory going on behind the scenes. Here are a few things to consider:
Aquaphobia
Regardless of how non-threatening and fun the lesson is, your child might be paralyzed by a fear of water. Fear of water can be learned or inherited genetically, and these fears are challenging to overcome at a young age.
If your child seems terrified every time you get to the pool, I recommend consulting with a child psychologist or therapist with a specialization in anxiety. They can work with your child to help them gradually overcome their fear and become comfortable in and around the water.
If your child seems terrified every time you get to the pool, I recommend consulting with a child psychologist or therapist with a specialization in anxiety. They can work with your child to help them gradually overcome their fear and become comfortable in and around the water.
Sensory Sensitivities
For other kids, this may not be because of the water but its sensory sensations.
The pool's noises may be too loud, the water might be too cold, and they may not like the feeling of wet clothes sticking to their skin.
If your child has sensory sensitivities, a specialist can offer ways to make swimming feel less overwhelming.
And little changes can make a big difference, such as finding a warmer pool, using earplugs, or switching to a different swimsuit.
The pool's noises may be too loud, the water might be too cold, and they may not like the feeling of wet clothes sticking to their skin.
If your child has sensory sensitivities, a specialist can offer ways to make swimming feel less overwhelming.
And little changes can make a big difference, such as finding a warmer pool, using earplugs, or switching to a different swimsuit.
Shifting the Approach
How About a Different Teaching Method?
Of course, sometimes, it's not because the child is not ready for swimming but because the teaching method isn't clicking for them. Like adults, all kids learn differently; you must find what works for your little one.
Find a different swim instructor:
Every instructor has their own style of teaching. Before giving up on the lessons, I recommend searching for a different swim instructor. Having another instructor who incorporates more games or is a little more gentle can make your baby feel comfortable and secure. Don't be scared of trying another instructor or swim program since the current one is not a good fit for your family.
Find a different swim instructor:
Every instructor has their own style of teaching. Before giving up on the lessons, I recommend searching for a different swim instructor. Having another instructor who incorporates more games or is a little more gentle can make your baby feel comfortable and secure. Don't be scared of trying another instructor or swim program since the current one is not a good fit for your family.
Try private swim lessons
Individual lessons could be great if group classes are too much to handle. In a private setting, the instructor can dedicate all his time and attention to your child's needs and pace of learning, thus building their confidence without making them feel intimidated by others in the group. Personalized attention might make swim lessons less stressful and more fun.
Try private swim lessons
Individual lessons could be great if group classes are too much to handle. In a private setting, the instructor can dedicate all his time and attention to your child's needs and pace of learning, thus building their confidence without making them feel intimidated by others in the group. Personalized attention might make swim lessons less stressful and more fun.
final thoughts
Crying is Normal and Progress Takes Time
Every child is unique, as are their experiences in the swim lessons.
Of course, they will cry or be anxious at first; that's entirely normal.
The important thing is how we respond to their needs as parents and coaches.
Whether you need to put lessons on pause, try new approaches, or give your little one more support and encouragement, you'll be surprised at how fast your child will gain confidence in the water.
With time, love, and support, you will soon watch your baby splash with joy, proud of how far they have come.
Of course, they will cry or be anxious at first; that's entirely normal.
The important thing is how we respond to their needs as parents and coaches.
Whether you need to put lessons on pause, try new approaches, or give your little one more support and encouragement, you'll be surprised at how fast your child will gain confidence in the water.
With time, love, and support, you will soon watch your baby splash with joy, proud of how far they have come.